Everyone Feels A Broken Heart Sometime [entries|friends|calendar] uandicollide [ userinfo | greatestjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | greatestjournal calendar ]

[Thursday 3/27/08 2:34 pm ] [ music | still in love with you-jonas brothers ] eh. so yesterday at ten in the morning my ex called me and woke me. and he was like im bored so im going to come and pick you up. so he came and got me and we just drove around and talked and it was really nice. and see, usually everytime weve hung out since weve been broken up, weve hooked up, and this time we didnt, and i mean i kinda wanted to, but im also kinda glad that we didnt. but i dont what to make of this, like why of all people did he call me? and i feel like now hes going to just randomly stop talking to me again, cause thats usually what happens 4 | comment

[Thursday 12/6/07 8:02 pm ] [ mood | anxious ] im going to be 17 tomorrow =] 1 | comment

[Sunday 11/25/07 8:59 pm ] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | p.s. im still not over you ] if you look deep, deep into my eyes and look past my fake smile you will see that i am broken, truly broken. i dont want to pretend to be happy anymore, i want to be naturally happy. i dont want to get upset everytime i see him. i want to be over him. and happy without him. i dont understand why i am in love with someone who now treats me like shit. and i just dont understand that if he really did used to love me, how his feelings for me just vanished. how can you stop loving someone that ment so much to you? unless everything he ever told me was a lie. i question if he ever really had feelings for me. was it all just a waste of time? i dont even know. but what i do know, and to all of you this is going to seem stupid and you'll probably think im crazy and wrong but i dont care, what i do know is that he was/is sapposed to be the one for me. i've never felt so strong about something. he is the one that i am sapposed to be with for the rest of my life. and maybe knowing this is why it is so hard for me to simply forget about him. believe you me, if i could get over him i would. im not holding on just because. you really think that i like feeling like this all the time? no. i hate it. sometimes i really hate that i ever met him. but then again for the time we were together he was the best thing that ever happened to me. i never once was sad when he was in my life. but now that he is gone, i feel empty. and i hate it. no one ever loved me like he did. that is if he really did love me. but whatever. comment

[Tuesday 9/4/07 6:39 pm ] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | Waint On The World To Change ] alright. a lot of shit has happened lately. three nights ago me and my friend got really drunk and we were having fun but then we left the place we were with with these two guys and one of them raped me. he and i were making out and i didnt mind that, then he went to finger me but i told him i was on my period cause i was but he said he didnt care. then he asked if he could ya know put it in, and i said "no im not like that" abut he fucking did it anyway. so after he took me home and i couldnt stop crying and i called my ex and i told him what happened and he was like "im so sorry i dont even know what to say i hope you feel better" so he was sweet but we didnt talk for long. then the night after that my ex and i had sex again...and yes he still has a gf. i know its really shitty of him. but i feel as if he still really does have feelings for me. after we had sex we were still haning out with two of our other friends and we were just drivin around and he and i were in the back and i was sitting with my head in my hands and then out of no where he just started rubbing my back and it was really unexpected. and he was being really sweet. today was the first day of school and i hate it already. i hate everyone that goes to my school. they are all stuck up bitches. the only good thing that happened today was that my ex actually came up to me and gave me a hug. but it really sucks not seeing him after every class and not getting to actually be with him. i love him and miss him so much. okay so i know this sounds childish and i know i am only 16 but i honestly feel like he is the one i am sapposed to marry. i dont know why my feelings about him are so stong but they are. i love every single thing about him even though he has hurt me so many times. i hate being without him and i hate how he has someone else. it kills. comment

[Sunday 7/8/07 12:41 am ] honestly. i am going crazy. im not just saying this. why did he have to break up with me? i cant be with out him. i understand that he has moved on, yeah it hurts but hey he had to happen sometime. but like i just still want him in my life. i wouldnt mind even if he and i were close friends and he told me about the new girls that he likes, yeah that would hurt too but it would be better than not talking to him at all. ive been trying so hard to get over him, ive tried everything possible, but nothing is working. i need to be with him. i dont get why he and i cant talk or hang out. after he first broke up with me he was the one that messaged me first and called me first and texted me first, and now he just ignores me. and i just dont get it. i wish he could just be straight forward with me and open up to me. i worry about him so much, when we were together he told me how is mom was cheating on his dad. and i just want to be there for him. he is constantly on my mind. i cant stop thinking about him. im sick of crying, i can truthfuly say i have NEVER cried this much in my life. i though i was in love before, but now i realize i wasnt. he was my first love. and hes gone. i dont know what to do anymore. comment

uh oh [Friday 3/30/07 8:53 pm ] so today after school me and my boyfriend were making out and my shirt was off...and...my brother walked in... im really scared hes gonna tell my parents. he was just like staring for a couple of minutes and i wouldnt look at him. it was so weird. i dont know what to do. 4 | comment

sweet sixteen [Thursday 12/7/06 2:48 pm ] [ mood | awake ] its my sixteenth birthdayyy!!! 5 | comment

FOR YOU I WILLLLLL!! [Friday 8/18/06 12:59 am ] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Teddy Geiger ] akgbnasjgb I just got home from the Teddy Geiger concert and it was effing amazingggg!! First off I was in the front row and then after the show I went out back by his bus just to see if I could see him or meet him, nothing like that usually happens for me, but he came out and I effing met Teddy and hugged him and he signed my ticket stub and my shirt. He was so shy and sweet. I loveee himmmmmm!! 2 | comment

I'm backkkk [Saturday 8/5/06 5:44 pm ] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Journey ] Hey guys I'm home from camp now. I just got home yesterday morning around eight. It feels amazing to be home, I was so homesick. It was crazy. So much has happened. So basically what I did for the past month was hiking and living on a bus with 30 other people. Things got kind of really annoying. But overall it was pretty fun althou I cried a lot. We hiked a total of 120 miles. We traveled to a ton of different states, some including: Utah, Colorado, Nevada, California, South Dakota, Minnesota, and a few more places. So much happened but I am too tired to write all the details. Please feel free to comment with questions about my trip I would love to tell you more. =) **Also I have mentioned in previous entries about my feud with my father, but being on the trip has helped me realize how much he means to me and we are trying to mend our relationship. I would also like to someone about that =).** comment

Camp [Saturday 7/1/06 5:44 pm ] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Kelly Clarkson ] I am leaving early tomarrow morning on a Westrntrip for a month...I will be back August fourth. Fell free to leave me comments while I'm away. 1 | comment

I Must Be... [Thursday 6/15/06 8:07 pm ] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Tracy Chapman ] I'M SKINNY, SO I MUST BE ANOREXIC. I'M EMO, SO I MUST CUT MY WRISTS. I'M HISPANIC, SO I MUST BE DIRTY. I'M ASIAN, SO I MUST BE SMART. I'M NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, SO I MUST BE A LOSER. I'M JEWISH, SO I MUST BE GREEDY. I'M GAY, SO I MUST HAVE AIDS. I'M A LESBIAN, SO I MUST HAVE A SEX TAPE. I'M ARAB, SO I MUST BE A TERRORIST. I SPEAK MY MIND, SO I MUST BE A BITCH. I'M RELIGIOUS, SO I MUST SHOVE MY BELIEFS DOWN YOUR THROAT. I'M AN ATHEIST, SO I MUST HATE THE WORLD. I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, SO I MUST BE EVIL AND NOT HAVE ANY MORALS. I'M A REPUBLICAN, SO I MUST NOT CARE ABOUT POOR PEOPLE. I'M A DEMOCRAT, SO I MUST NOT BELIEVE IN BEING RESPONSIBLE. I AM LIBERAL, SO I MUST BE GAY. I'M SOUTHERN, SO I MUST BE WHITE TRASH. I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, SO I MUST BE CRAZY. I'M A GUY, SO I MUST ONLY WANT TO GET IN YOUR PANTS. I'M IRISH, SO I MUST HAVE A BAD DRINKING PROBLEM. I'M INDIAN, SO I MUST OWN A CONVENIENCE STORE. I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, SO I MUST DANCE AROUND A FIRE SCREAMING LIKE A SAVAGE. I'M PREPPY, SO I MUST SHUN THOSE WHO DON'T WEAR ABERCROMBIE & HOLLISTER. I'M A CHEERLEADER, SO I MUST BE A SLUT. I'M ON A DANCE TEAM, SO I MUST BE A STUPID, STUCK UP WHORE. I WEAR SKIRTS, SO I MUST BE A SLUT. I'M PUNK, SO I MUST DO DRUGS. I'M YOUNG, SO I MUST BE NAIVE. I'M RICH, SO I MUST BE A CONCEITED SNOB. I WEAR BLACK, SO I MUST BE GOTHIC. I'M BLONDE, SO I MUST BE A STUPID DITZ. I'M A WHITE GIRL, SO I MUST BE A NAGGING, STEAL-YOUR-MONEY KIND OF GIRLFRIEND. I'M CUBAN, SO I MUST SPEND MY SPARE TIME ROLLING CIGARS. I'M MEXICAN, SO I MUST HAVE HOPPED THE BORDER. I'M NOT A VIRGIN, SO I MUST BE EASY. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, SO I MUST BE A HOME-WRECKING WHORE. I'M A TEENAGE MOM, SO I MUST BE AN IRRESPONSIBLE SLUT. I'M ITALIAN, SO I MUST HAVE A BIG DICK. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, SO I MUST BE A SPOILED BRAT. I'M PRETTY, SO I MUST NOT BE A VIRGIN. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, SO I MUST HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, SO I MUST BE LOOKING FOR ATTENTION. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS SO I MUST BE LOOKING FOR ATTENTION. I'M INTO THEATRE & ART, SO I MUST BE A HOMOSEXUAL. I'M A VEGETARIAN, SO I MUST BE A CRAZY POLITICAL ACTIVIST. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, SO I MUST BE FUCKING THEM ALL. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, SO I MUST BE GAY. I'M A DRUMMER, SO I MUST BE AN IDIOT. I HAVE BIG BOOBS SO I MUST BE A WHORE I'M COLOMBIAN, SO I MUST BE A DRUG DEALER. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, SO I MUST BE A POSER. I'M RUSSIAN, SO I MUST BE COOL AND THAT'S HOW RUSSIANS ROLL. I'M GERMAN, SO I MUST BE A NAZI. I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, SO I MUST BE GAY TOO. I'M BRAZILIAN, SO I MUST HAVE A BIG BUTT. I'M PUERTO RICAN, SO I MUST LOOK GOOD AND BE CONCEITED. I'M SALVADORIAN, SO I MUST BE IN MS13. I'M POLISH, SO I MUST BE STUPID. I'M HAWAIIAN SO I MUST BE LAZY. I'M A STONER SO I MUST BE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. I'M A VIRGIN SO I MUST BE PRUDE. I'M A FEMALE GAMER, SO I MUST BE UGLY. I'M BLACK SO I MUST LOVE FRIED CHICKEN AND CARRY A GUN. I'M BI SO I MUST THINK EVERY GIRL I SEE IS HOT. I'M ASIAN SO I MUST HAVE A SMALL PENIS. comment

Defying Gravity [Saturday 6/3/06 7:12 pm ] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Wicked ] wooooot im going to see Wicked tomarrow! =) comment

going to colorado [Thursday 5/18/06 3:17 pm ] [ mood | calm ] [ music | The Starting Line ] be back sunday night =) leave me comments to come back to please. 1 | comment

save one tree hill [Sunday 4/30/06 9:24 pm ] http://www2.teavee.com/onetreehill/ attention all one tree hill fans. go there and click on positive vote to keep one tree hill on the air for another amazing season!!! 2 | comment

oh please do this [Sunday 4/30/06 9:17 pm ] [ mood | awake ] http://www2.teavee.com/onetreehill/ attention all one tree hill fans. go there and click on positive vote to keep one tree hill on the air for another amazing season!!! comment

attentionnn [Monday 4/17/06 12:33 pm ] [ mood | creative ] hey guyss! okay well lately i've really been in to making banners, if you would like one please comment and let me know what you want and i will try to get it down right away. :) ( SAMPLESS ) 3 | comment

[Tuesday 2/14/06 1:57 pm ] hi guys im in flordia now and i dont know how often i will be able to be on so im just posting a hiatus sign, i think i will be back around the 23. talk to you all later :) credit to lookinglass for the sign comment

OTH!!! [Wednesday 12/28/05 10:40 pm ] 6 | comment

[Tuesday 12/27/05 10:05 pm ] comment

join the livejournal community [Thursday 12/22/05 9:56 pm ] join _cameraxwhore its a pretty sweet rating community! comment

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